Here are 13 things you can do to help your child overcome shyness
The Spanish magazine "Con Miss Ejos" published a
report in which she talked about the shame in children that can appear in
certain situations to varying degrees.
The magazine said, that shyness is not a negative trait as it
is a complex feeling that usually results in natural psychological stress that
leads us to improve our personality, and this applies to adults and children
alike. However, trying to overcome the feeling of shame that may arise in some
situations must be part of a smooth and gradual process. But if this shyness
causes stress and anxiety this means that it has become satisfactory. In this
case, it is necessary to consult a specialist, since a lack of socialization
can affect the raising and education of the shy child.
Is shy feeling gained?
The magazine stated that shyness develops during a person's
life differently. For example, the feeling of shame during adolescence is
profound given that a person at this age is involved in almost all social
activities. Usually, the feeling of shame is generated by expectations and
anxieties that control a person, especially in front of others and in certain
situations. The best treatment to get rid of shyness is to face these anxious
situations.
Sometimes, shyness in children is for obvious reasons such as insecurity and loss of self-esteem, without excluding the genetic influence that may enhance this feeling, and emotional and environmental factors play an important role in this regard. You are not born shy, but you "learn" from your own experience and by noticing other people's behaviors and behaviors. For a child, the behavioral patterns he observes in his daily life are key factors in gaining shyness.
The magazine stressed the need for the shy person to be
cautious during situations that show his weakness in character, put him in
comparisons, or make him ridicule others. If a person learns to control
their emotions and express themselves appropriately, a sense of shame will act
as a defensive mechanism for them.
When is shyness disturbing?
1- When your child
distances himself from social relationships and avoids environments that create
an atmosphere of tension and emotional anxiety.
2- Making excuses.
3- When he cannot
integrate into the class, either because he does not want to participate in
oral reading (aloud) or becomes very nervous if he has to speak in front of a
group.
4- When he is not
involved in activities with other children and tends to hide behind his parents
if he meets someone on the street who does not know him.
What can we do?
When we try to help a child overcome his shyness, it is
necessary to take into account the causes of his discomfort, which mainly stem
from a lack of self-confidence and insecurity. And be careful to use some
strategies that can reduce this feeling:
1. Learn the causes of
these behaviors: genetic, environmental, emotional, and learning.
2. Support it
unconditionally and show your understanding of it and its capabilities.
3. Deal with the problem
naturally and never make fun of it or make it look different.
4. Give him confidence
and time: each child needs a moment to put his or her strategies into
practice.
5. Don't make
judgments: try to make your style simple so that they understand you.
6. Don't say negative
words about yourself, like "I'm useless."
7. Allow the child to
tell you what is happening without thinking about an answer.
8. Make him suggest
things even if they are simple.
9. Create
opportunities for socialization, but do not compel it to face new social
situations.
10. Promote situations
that are comfortable for the child: Do not force him to do group activities if
he is not ready for them.
11. Help him cope with
difficult new situations, and try to reduce the level of anxiety to make the
child feel comfortable.
12. Praise him every
time he can overcome his shyness and successfully face a social situation.
13. Always try to
highlight its positive qualities.
Instructions for treating child shame
1- Help your child
build self-confidence and gradually overcome the feeling of shyness by avoiding
comparisons with other children or siblings.
2- Working on his
simple behaviors, such as starting short conversations, asking simple and
attractive questions, encouraging him to express a certain opinion, and helping
him express feelings of anger, joy, and anger through socially beneficial verbal
expression.
3- Shy children often
reduce their achievements and this increases their mistakes to the maximum
extent. Let them do things the way they do, and you should make sure that they
rejoice when they do things right.
4- Start with a
“playmate” and help him double the number of his friends while doing various
activities. Participating in plays or role-playing games will be a great
strategy.
5- Beware of
"excessive protection" and leave your child "his space" and
maintain his independence.
6- Invite his friends
for a snack at home or to play for a few hours so he can enjoy and feel safe in
his surroundings.
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